A day like this is still needed: International Women’s Day! It is dedicated to militancy with a focus on emancipation and women’s rights.
My mother wants to help me on my way and guard me from missteps she made. She is now 80 years old, and urges me: “Keep your head above water and get your affairs in order.”
The eldest daughter in a family of nine, she wanted to study, but was neither allowed nor able to. She was the girl for housework. Her mother, my grandmother, did the same after her mother died in childbirth. They had no choice, that’s how it used to be. These women were unlucky that their mothers were simply not available.
Women back then were docile, obedient and usually had little choice. My mother’s youngest sister was allowed to study. Probably due to new insights from my grandmother? And my mother, she eventually became a housewife and a farmer’s wife.
“Studying is important. If you don’t study, you will become a housewife like me and you will suffer all your life.” She often repeated these words and of course she would have liked me to marry a farmer’s son, that didn’t happen ?
Whereas my father was mainly concerned about the succession of his farming business, my mother insisted that girls too should take care of their own happiness and development.
Not long ago, I completed a genogram with a rowing club friend. This new product was carefully created by coach and friend Annelies Meijers of AM Kwadraat. You collect relevant information about your family and put it in context to gain new insight. So I threw myself in at the deep end and immersed myself in systemic work. How did that work for me? What effect does my family history have on my own development?
‘Where I come from’ soon became clear, all entrepreneurs in my family line. The creative thing I got from my father and his grandmother.
She saw that depending on others makes you vulnerable and limits your own development. She wanted her children to have things in order and be at the helm of their own happiness. We were allowed to study. She was and is there for me.
But back then was different, back then survival in a poor, struggling time was top priority. Being strong, carrying on, without the immediate availability of a mother.
Times have changed. We women are getting much older, working longer and facing different dilemmas than my ancestors.
My mother is proud of everything we achieve, how both daughter and granddaughter pull their own weight, make choices because they are 100 per cent behind them.
Looking at my own profession, I contribute to the militancy of women. Women look more vital after an eyebrow treatment, eyeliner or more colour in their lips, for example. That does something to your self-esteem and self-assurance. Women feel like women again because of a nipple tattoo after breast cancer and live on militantly. You might think this is far-fetched, but just look at what permanent make-up can do for women (and men).
You count, maintain your seniority and feel healthy and beautiful in old age. And we pass that on to our daughters too, what they see of us makes them resilient to do even better.
Of course, my chimney has to smoke too, which is why in my story, I link to my work and practice. The work I do with passion, for over 16 years, which I have never regretted for a moment. Where I take good care of my own business with my head above the water! Because I count.
And so do you!
I wish you a wonderful women’s day, shine and feel good!
You can find out more about International Women’s Day on this site.
